A letter for a special woman in my life

Concerning romance and mixed signals:

I'm a touchy, feelly guy, and it's very important for me that a woman I'm showing affection to really enjoys me being touchy and feelly with her. Half of my pleasure in an erotic situation comes from knowing my partner is enjoying the experience. It's more than half, it's essential. If my partner isn't having fun, I'm not having fun.

This is why I kept asking you if you were enjoying our back rub sessions. You were sending such mixed signals -- your body was saying yes when we finally got started, but you were so coy about getting started.

Mixed signals was why I stopped you the one time you started touching me during one of our sessions. It was clear that doing so was causing you concern, not pleasure, and I felt there was no point in continuing until you had resolved that issue in your own mind. I knew your frontal lobes were pretty well shut down that night, so I wanted to give you a chance to clear your head and work it out. I was sure you would resolve that, and then feel comfortable about being more equal in our exchanges. I was surprised when that didn't happen, and you instead remained comfortable taking a purely passive role in these sessions.

It was clear during all the back rub sessions that your limbic system is never ambivalent about enjoying being touched. This made me feel good, real good. (In retrospect, I suspect it was no accident that you fell in love "by accident" as you did. I'm sure your limbic system was speaking loud and clear to JK, just as it spoke loud and clear to me.)

This gives me concern, because I know how loudly your emotions talk to you. When we talked over ice cream, you ducked the question of why you fell in love with JK. I trust there is more than emotion behind your feelings.