By Roger White, Copyright Roger White, April 2000
The trip had been long, but not taxing. El Badasso, Sunshine and Kellogg the Smiling had set off north from Qalaba'r in search of Lugian Fort. They had crossed mountains and come to a wide plain sparsely populated with palm trees. They continued north, headed for the center of this wide plain. The monsters on the way were not particularly taxing, and they soon found themselves overlooking the fort proper.
"This is a long way from anywhere." commented El Badasso, "We haven't seen a lifestone or any habitation since we crossed the mountains ten clicks ago."
El Badasso was a 20th level scout who used a gold katar to settle accounts with monsters. He was an old character who had been around since the dawn of Dereth. In his early days he had been very active -- killing steadily to bring badly needed cash and goods into the clan -- cash and goods which supported the young magi and artisans who consumed so much while they were first learning their skills. Then there had been a pause in his activity as the clan magi established themselves. He wondered if he should retire as some of his compatriots had. But he did not, and he was called out again to run the length and breadth of the land to find choice places for the rest of the clan to practice their skills -- and to bring in more loot. It seemed the clan never outgrew it's need for money. This was another such expedition for him.
"Ah, but there it is... pure undiluted lugian EP-on-the-hoof. Not camped, not diluted with Mountain Rats or anything else. You can't find that close to any town these days." Kellogg the Smiling gazed down on the fort from their hill overlook.
Kellogg was a newly minted 4th generation life mage, who had "JATOed" to 17th level in record time--his mentors had nurtured him and protected him carefully while he steadily killed monsters ten or fifteen levels higher than he was. Now he was a powerful caster in his own right, but he "jingled as he walked" to overcome the severe character deficiencies he was born with. Without magic devices, he couldn't run, couldn't carry, and couldn't stand up to a monster swing. And he felt like he couldn't cast the way he should. He was still obsessed with gaining experience, and that was what brought him here.
"It's everything you said it would be." said Sunshine. Sunshine was another mage, a 24th level, 3rd generation mage. She was not as extreme as Kellogg, so from soon after birth she could scout as well as cast. Although she wasn't part of his clan, El Badasso had helped her along when she was young, and now, much to his surprise, she was his monarch! The world was full of surprises.
"Well, lets get started." said El Badasso, "Those lugians are lined up nice and thick, all right, inside and outside the walls. We need to scout the area and find out which way we want to draw them out piecemeal."
The trio circled the fort, killing the outlying skeletons and gromnies they found in their way. The east side offered a clear approach, so they started from there.
"I'll go in and draw a couple out when you're ready." said El Badasso, and then he sat down. He prided himself because his "buff" took about five seconds, but he had long ago learned that some characters thought nothing of taking a minute or more to prepare for battle, and Kellogg and Sunshine both fit that model.
When the magi where finally ready, he got up and rushed the fort. He ran straight for the nearest lugian, then reversed as soon as he had the lugian's attention. It was a classic bait maneuver: draw the monster away from his 'gen point so he could be defeated without interference from other monsters. He was expecting the lugian to chase him back to the magi where they would all gang up on him, but instead the lugian stood his ground a tossed a boulder at him. The boulder missed, but so had the whole point of the maneuver.
"Hmm, a boulder tosser. He won't close. Let me try another."
El Badasso ran in again, aiming for a different lugian this time. Once again, the lugain was a boulder tosser, and he came back empty handed.
"This isn't what I expected!" said Kellogg the Smiling, "How are we going to kill lugians if we can't get them to come to us?"
The party circled north and tried again. It seemed that all the lugians guarding this fort were very cagey, and none were going get pulled out of line by a tasty little human target running nearby.
"This is a challenge." commented Sunshine. The magi tried ganging up on a single lugian from a distance, but his boulders ranged the same as their spells, and it was not productive for them to try and trade damage with a boulder-tossing lugian.
They thought some more. Then Kellogg said to Sunshine, "Cover me." He headed for a lugian, but ducked behind a tree when a boulder started coming. The boulder bounced off the tree. "Ha ha! I think we have an edge."
Kellogg damaged the lugian, but before he could finish the lugian off, the lugian ran out of boulders and rushed him. Kellogg scampered back, and El Badasso moved to cover his retreat. The lugian soon dropped.
"I think we have a technique, but that tree isn't going to work. It's too far out." said Kellogg, brushing off the dust from his close encounter with the lugian.
The party circled west along the south side. Sunshine saw a forlorn, skinny palm tree ten meters from the south wall and ran for it. She made it, hid behind it, and started casting Life magic. The sky darkened with boulders headed her way, but they all bounced harmlessly off the skinny palm tree.
"It's working!" She shouted, and Kellogg rushed in to join her. The two started doing "wall work"--casting deadly drains and harms on the monsters who could not return fire effectively -- in this case, blocked by a single palm tree.
At first El Badasso just watched -- all he could do up behind the tree was catch a boulder or two -- not his favorite sport.
Then things changed. The three lugians outside the south wall used up their boulders and charged the magi. In a flash El Badasso was on the scene.
The magi drained the charging lugians. Drains do massive damage to healthy beings, but the damage is percentage based, so drains do comparatively little damage to near-dead beings, and yet those near-dead beings can still be dishing out full damage. This is where El Badasso stepped in. He did full damage to a target, healthy or not, so he could efficiently finish off what the magi started. And, now that the lugians weren't throwing boulders, he was in his element. Carefully he selected near-dead lugians as targets, and left the healthy ones for the magi.
In less than a minute, there were six lugian corpses piled around the tree, and the back of the lugian defense was broken. The magi could now close on the south wall of the fort and continue their "wall work" in standard fashion.
The process was not quick after that, but it was routine. The fort was cleared and the lugians were kept down until the magi ran out of spell components. Then Sunshine opened a portal back to Qalaba'r and the trio left -- tens of thousands of EP points richer. And thousands of pyreals richer, too -- within the clan El Badasso is as famous for his capacity carry treasure as he is for finding places to carry it from. He was old, but he was still valuable; retirement was not in his near future.
And all this, thanks to a skinny little palm tree.
Thus ends another Doc Feelgood Campfire tale