Beginning Chapter One ... Two ... Three ... Four
Six months ago the first pair of cats were crated up and sent off. The traders got the best: pedigreed Persians from a family of known purrers. In return we got two alikoxinons -- nicknamed imps -- the creatures that Traders had selected from a galaxy of worlds to be our first exotic pet.
The two imps were exotic. They were a foot long, three pounds and hexapedal. They had extensible necks like a turtle and big, black, dewy eyes. Their skin was most unusual: it consisted of layers of soft delicate soft membrane covering a tough turtle-like back. The imps could be patted, and when they were the membrane would rupture releasing a beautiful distinctively fresh scent. "Long ago the membrane was a chemical defense much like your skunk has. The harshness has been bred out of the odor." Gork Tag informed me.
The imps could also groom. They would climb around a person using their six legs and muscular fingers to comb and braid hair or give a distinctive, out-of-this-world massage.
For six weeks the imps had been studied in the labs. Now for six weeks they'd been given run of the house. Bandit and Sargon, the White German Shepherd, were both curious at first, and it took a while to get them to back off the imps. The cats wanted to play until they found the imps to be too slow moving and turtle-like to be of much interest. The dog wanted to sniff and paw. But this dog and cat were used to new pets coming in the household, and the imps were accepted as part of the household within a week. In short it looked like the Traders had done us Terrans well once again.
It was the night before the final quarantine was to finish, as I was talking with Gork Tag from home, that the honeymoon ended. Lucky, one of the imps, was massaging my neck.
"Gork," I said, "These imps are terrific. I hope you've got a bunch ready to ship. By the way, how old is Lucky, here?"
"Why don't you ask Lucky yourself?"
"What?"
There was a quiet soothing whisper in my ear as Lucky nuzzled it, "One hundred six years."
"Shit!" I jumped out of my seat. Lucky went flying. He landed on the floor, spun slowly, then struggled to right itself. I backed away.
"What's the matter?" asked Gork Tag.
"Did you teach these imps anything about Earth before they came?"
"No."
I pointed accusingly, "It -- an extraterrestrial -- learned English and our culture in six weeks all by itself?" Lucky was eyeing me.
"Yes, it's possible. They are very intelligent and you've been treating it very well. Why... Mr. Curio, I've never heard you sound so distressed? Are you ill?"
"We're about to let loose an alien creature on Earth that's maybe ten times as intelligent as us, and you don't see a problem?" Lucky and I were staring each other down. I'd never noticed before how sinister it's eyes looked.
"No."
"Well, I do." I looked around and grabbed a crystal ball I kept as a paper weight. "Lucky, I'm sure you understand me. I want you and Patches to both get back in your cage, right now. DO YOU UNDERSTAND."
Lucky said not a word. He walked straightway into the cage. Seconds later Patches came from one of the other rooms and followed Lucky into the cage. Breathing heavily, I bolted the door and double-secured the lock.
"Christ, telepathic too." I muttered. My heart was slowing a bit as I turned to the viewer, "Gork, what sort of hook were you trying to throw us?"
"Hook?"
"You send a highly intelligent race here posing as pets. What were they going to do, spread and grow for a while as pets then take us over? Turn us into slaves? I thought you Traders liked what we humans were doing for you? What happened to all the benefits of our cooperation you keep talking about?"
"I don't understand. Why wouldn't you want intelligent pets? How else are they going to understand what you want and need? The imps seemed to being doing splendidly at pleasing you.... Wait, are you saying these cats you've sent aren't as intelligent as you are?"
"Of course not. Nothing on earth is."
"How provincial. Excuse me, I didn't mean to insult you.... Wait! You mean these cats you sent us may not come instantly when called?"
"Only if you've trained them to. Otherwise they'll go wild. Cats are quite independent. Here on earth they're noted for it."
"You said 'grow and take over'.... How often do these cats of yours breed?"
"Oh, two or three times a year producing four to six kittens. Why?"
"Each cat can do this?"
"Half can. The female cats."
"By the Gods! You've sent us an uncontrollable carnivore that eats the small herbivores that spread our seeds! And now you're telling me it reproduces with a geometric growth pattern? That's attempted genocide, Earthman! You will be hearing from our lawyers!"
I sighed. I though of Wartly's statue. Maybe there's more to this pioneering business than I've been giving the old geezer credit for, and I guess this is how one dries up behind the ears in a real hurry.
Beginning Chapter One ... Two ... Three ... Four