From Novell Network, Jan/Feb ’86, pp. 18–19
15 Proven Ways to Catch Ray Noorda
By his secretary
Catch the same plane.
Make a trail of nut mix from his office to yours.
Disguise yourself as Craig Burton.
Sit in his chair and wait. And wait. And wait.
Disguise yourself as a quarter horse.
Hide in his Suburban and wait for him to go to the “other” building.
Keep sweets in your candy jar and cement it to your desk top.
Disguise yourself as a nut mix.
Trip him in the halls and talk very fast.
Disguise yourself as his 3-year-old red-haired granddaughter.
Steal his phone and run to your office; wait 15 seconds.
Pick him up at the airport—all of them.
Disguise yourself as his Golden Retriever and wait for your nightly walk.
Grab his brown travel bag as he’s running out the door to catch a plane. You’ll have one minute to speak before rigor mortis sets in.
Page him and tell him his wife is on Call Park. (Make sure you speak with a high pitch when he answers.)
From Novell Network, Oct ’86, p. 2.
On the small document are 12 maximums [sic] Noorda has carried in his wallet for 15 years. They are:
The value of time.
The success of perseverance.
Do not be discouraged, no matter what the problems seem to be.
Get great pleasure out of your work. If one doesn’t get pleasure out of his work, boy, that is bad.
The dignity of simplicity. Too many people want to dress up things beyond their worth and really destroy what worth they have.
The worth of character.
The power of kindness.
You must set the standard.
The obligation, duty, and wisdom of economy.
The virtue of patience. There is nothing in this world that is more important right now than patience.
The improvement of talent.
The sincere and real joy of originating something.